


With Many Thanks to Charlie Brown

by misura



Category: The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman
Genre: M/M, Overprotective, Possessive Behavior, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:40:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23496916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: It took Bod nearly a year to realize he had a problem, and then another three months to realize that his problem had a name.
Relationships: Nobody "Bod" Owens/Silas
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	With Many Thanks to Charlie Brown

It took Bod nearly a year to realize he had a problem, and then another three months to realize that his problem had a name and what that name was.

"Silas?"

Silas appeared out of a dark corner in an otherwise fairly well-lit hotel room. It had a very big bed, which Bod had liked at the beginning of the night but which now seemed like a bit of a waste.

"Um," Bod said. It occurred to him that all of his clothes were lying, not very neatly folded, on a chair by the bed.

Silas did not seem to notice, which oddly made Bod feel even more awkward, instead of less.

"Did you just make Juan leave?" Bod asked, deciding that, awkward or not, he might as well forge ahead. "And did you do the same to Tanya? And Anne? And Ingelbertus? And - others?" Bod realized that he no longer remembered the names of all the people he had tried to have sex with.

Possibly, that was because he hadn't actually succeeded with any of them.

Oh, making small talk didn't pose much of a problem. Bod had become quite good at talking to other, living people. He enjoyed it, and like fear, enthusiasm is contagious. Small talk would naturally lead to shared laughter, a look, a touch, a question, a positive reply. And then, somehow, it would all go wrong.

The first few times, Bod had assumed he'd simply gotten unlucky. He'd read plenty of books where people got unlucky, even four or five times in a row. Twenty or twenty-one times in a row seemed excessive, though, particularly since Bod could tell that the people he tried to have sex with were completely sincere when they assured him that they wanted the same thing he did.

"I did not know that was his name," Silas said, which Bod knew meant 'yes'.

"Why?" he asked. He thought he should sound a little annoyed, possibly even angry, but he mostly felt confused and a bit hurt. If Silas hadn't wanted Bod to have any sex, he could have simply said so. There had been no need to be sneaky about it.

"He didn't seem like the right kind of person," Silas said.

"And I suppose none of the others did, either?" Bod shook his head. "I don't see what business of yours it is, anyway. After all, you're the one who decided you weren't my guardian anymore," he added.

"There are a lot of people out there," Silas said. "There's no need to hop into bed with the first person who asks. You should take a bit more time to consider your options."

As far as Bod could see, one option was much like another. He could have sex with a boy or he could have sex with a girl. He could not have sex with Silas.

Unless, of course, he could. "Are you one of those options?" Bod asked, because when he wanted to know something, asking Silas had always been the quickest way to find out the answer.

These days, there was also the Internet, but Bod had already discovered that there was a lot of information on the Internet that wasn't even a little bit true.

"No," Silas said. He sounded calm, like Silas.

"Why not?" Part of Bod wished Silas would look at him. Part of Bod was relieved that Silas hadn't. Part of Bod wished Juan had stayed here instead of Silas, though that was a very small part of Bod indeed.

"My state comes with certain physical limitations," Silas said. "Also, relationships between people such as myself and the living rarely end well."

"That's not what people say in the movies. Or books," Bod said. Bod had lived a lot since he had left the graveyard, but he had also read and watched a lot. One day, he thought that he would like to try and write some stories of his own, even if he couldn't think of anyone who might want to read them.

"I prefer to believe that I am somewhat more knowledgeable on the subject than either," Silas said.

"Probably," Bod acknowledged. "But still. We could try, couldn't we?"

"If the both of us were to have our hearts set on such an endeavour, certainly," Silas said. "Fortunately, I am sensible enough to realize that you are only behaving like a typical young man. That's not a bad thing," he went on. "I am pleased to see you fitting in so well."

"Do you think I'm ugly?" Bod supposed that, from Silas's point of view, he might look very short and rather too pink. His skin might be too warm, or his hair too messy.

"Of course not." Silas's voice betrayed the tiniest sliver of shock.

"I'm just not your type?"

Silas hesitated. Possibly, he knew that if he answered in the affirmative, Bod's next question would be what _was_ Silas's type, whereas admitting that actually, Bod was very much Silas's type would rob the entire conversation of its purpose.

"I have been your guardian for a number of years," he said at last. "It wouldn't be proper for me to take advantage."

"What about me?" Bod asked. "What if _I_ wanted to take advantage?"

"It would not be a good idea at all," Silas said. "Come. Get dressed, and I will take you to have a cup of coffee."

"You don't drink coffee."

"That's hardly relevant."

Bod bit his lip. He felt that his behavior was perhaps rather childish. At the same time, he felt that Silas was being very stubborn and a bit unreasonable. If Silas didn't want to have sex with him, that would have been one thing. Bod could have accepted that.

Instead, it sounded more as if Silas did, perhaps, want to have sex with him, only he felt he shouldn't, and therefore acted as if he didn't.

If Silas hadn't been Silas, Bod might have hugged him. Silas was Silas, though, and Silas was not the sort of person one could imagine hugging. However, Bod could imagine Silas talking to him. His imagination was perfectly capable of picturing himself lying on the big bed, with Silas in a chair, fully dressed, touching Bod with nothing but his voice.

Maybe, Bod thought, Silas might even actually touch him. Even if Silas's body might not work the same as that of a living person, there were still a number of things the two of them could do together. Not everything on the Internet might be true, but Bod didn't think it had been wrong about _everything_.

"Bod," Silas said. "Get dressed."

"You could make me, couldn't you?" Bod asked. "You could make me do anything you wanted."

"Yes," Silas said.

Bod didn't think Silas had meant to make Bod feel warm all over, or even more determined to get Silas to admit the truth, instead of merely not lying about why he was here.

"You're not," he pointed out.

"I wouldn't think that there was any need," Silas said. "You're a smart young man, Bod. Sensible."

"Smart enough to know that you're not here, doing what you've been doing, because you don't like me at all." Bod swallowed. "Smart enough to know that you only want me to get dressed so that you won't be tempted to do what I want you to do."

Silas blurred, and between one breath and the next, Bod was lying on the bed, staring up at Silas.

"Like that, yeah." Bod's mouth felt a little dry. His imagination didn't seem capable of picturing Silas naked. He felt Silas's weight, but no warmth, as if Silas wasn't really there.

"You should do this with the living," Silas said.

_But then, who would_ you _do this with?_ Bod thought, and then he corrected that question to, _With whom would you do this?_ , because Silas was always very precise about language.

"I don't want to do this with anyone but you," Bod said. It was not a lie, even if it was true that Bod would have been happy to do something like this with any number of people.

"This is a very bad idea," Silas said.

"Bad ideas make for good learning moments," Bod said. He thought he'd read that somewhere. "We all learn from our mistakes."

Silas kissed him, then, his lips cold against Bod's warm ones, and Bod decided that he didn't at all think either of them would be learning anything from what was going to happen next.

Still, at least they'd fail to learn anything together.


End file.
